An Ultimate Guide To Self Confidence


The only thing that matters in life, is your own about yourself. – Osho

Self-confidence is an integral part of one’s life. Where there is self-confidence, there is self-esteem, self-love, motivation and will. There are situations in life that often lead us to doubt ourselves. Whether it is related to our career, our life, our looks or simple things in life, there are moments where we have doubted ourselves. Sometimes we often give up on ideas because we don’t feel confident in executing them.

Thinking about the positives and negatives of a situation is human nature and it is one of the best habits too. Before getting into anything, its pro and cons should be carefully judged. However, sometimes we find ourselves in a zone where there are only negatives and no positives. Our brain starts working in a way that there is only darkness and no light. This arises because knowing unknowingly we become underconfident in ourselves. 

Self-doubting is a very common phenomenon but when that self-doubt starts making us vulnerable and passive, self-confidence comes to rescue us. We should incorporate self-confidence into our lives. We understand it is easier said than being done but honestly, there isn’t much you have to do. Some small steps, some small practice and you’ll find yourself in a confident and refreshing territory. 

But first, what is self-confidence?

Confidence is a feeling of trusting the decisions, abilities and qualities of someone else or yourself. Self-confidence is a feeling where you have faith in yourself and your beliefs. 

Self-confidence is a deep-seated belief that you have whatever it takes. You have the abilities, inner resources, talents, and skills to create your desired results especially with the help of affirmations. 

You may not realize that self-confidence is a driving force in life. It pushes you through every fear and every doubt so that you could achieve your goals. Whether it is the smallest thing in life to the biggest, self-confidence is a must.

A feeling where you self motivate that I can do this hints towards your self-confidence. Being confident doesn’t mean you’ll never fail but being self-confident means that if you fail one day, you’ll rise and try again to be successful another day. You try and try until you reach the point where you are successful.  It’s your confidence within you that encourages you to do better, your driving force, your fuel towards your success.

Why is self confidence needed?

1. Your Happiness Increases

As Barbara Markway, PhD, said self-confidence is linked to almost every element involved in a happy and fulfilling life. When you are confident, you have desires and when you fulfil those desires, they lead you to a happy and content life which everyone looks for.

2. Increases your self-esteem

Self-confidence is closely linked with self-esteem. They are closely related terms. Self-esteem means self-regard. When you value yourself and consider yourself worthy, it is self-esteem. Both self-confidence and self-esteem are closely related. When you are confident in yourself, you feel worthy and this gives a boost in self-esteem.

3. Reduced anxiety

Underconfidence leads to anxiety. For example- if you have an exam tomorrow, you have prepared well and did everything that was required to do but you dont feel confident about your preparations and that triggers anxiety. You might not be able to sleep all night. This way, in many situations, we are underconfident or raised a doubt in our own decisions. These uncertainties trigger the anxiety but when you have confidence in yourself, your anxieties naturally comes down.

4. Self-confidence sparks confidence amongst others

If you are confident, people who are around you will trust you too. You can say trust is contagious. If you trust yourself people will sense it and they’ll start trusting and having faith in you. For example, if you visit a doctor who isn’t confident about his diagnosis, will you trust him? No, you’ll rather go to another doctor for a consultation. Same way, when taking any big decision or making a judgement, if you trust yourself, people will trust you too.

5. Increases motivation

“Incredible things can be done simply if we are committed to making them happen”- Sadhguru 

Success comes your way when you are determined about it. Your determination longs for motivation and that motivation comes when you are confident. Self-confidence triggers your motivation. A small word ‘faith’ is enough to make you feel motivated in doing what you’re doing and that motivation comes when you feel confident in yourself.

Self-confidence is not acquired. It is like a muscle that builds over time. Sometimes our bad experiences make you confident, sometimes our trust in the situation. Whatever it is, our ultimate goal is to feel confident because that will lead you to heights. 

How To Be Confident?

1.Know yourself

Learn a little about yourself. Analyse your strengths and weaknesses. When you know them, you’ll have clarity in your thoughts. This will help you make a fair and clear judgment. Just like many people, you will be confident with your strengths. SO know you have to work a little in the direction of your weakness so that you could convert those weaknesses into strengths.  

2. Practise positive thinking

Positive thinking is yet another aspect to develop self-confidence in an indiviuidal. As we mentioned earlier, if you have too many negative thoughts clouding your mind, you won be able to see the positivities hiding. You need to clear your mindset and incorporate positive thinking and attitude towards things in life. It is a very essential thing to do.

3. Never compare yourself

You are you and you should never be comparing yourself with others. Whether it is in terms of the way you look, your life, your job or success. When we compare, we automatically start putting ourselves down. Self-degradation is a very strong thing that could tamper with your confidence. A lot of times people scroll on social media and start comparing themselves to others. It is becoming a common trend where people are comparing themselves to the people on social media which isn’t a fair thing to do. People on social media share a part of their life, the social media world is not real.

4. Do NOT try to seek perfection

It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to do things wrong. It is okay, not to be perfect. What is important here is that we learn from our experiences. When we make mistake, we should learn from it and move on. Try another time. This is a learning process and everything we do in our life has a learning curve to it. Nobody started walking the very first time they tried as toddlers.

In the quest for perfection, we over try and in this situation, we overstress ourselves. When we dont succeed, we get disheartened and lose confidence. That is why we should never aim for perfection. 

5. Change your physiology

An underconfident person gets spotted quickly. Looking down, shoulders hunched is one of the biggest visible traits of a person who lacks confidence. You’ll be surprised to know this is what the HRs look in you the moment they see you. The way you talk, the way you walk should hint towards your confident state of mind. Practise a change in your body language. Keep shoulder broad and straight, head up all the time and make eye contact. This is a trait of a confident person which you should be adopting too.

Just take a moment and acknowledge all things you could achieve with confidence. Self-confidence eliminates the seed of doubt and opens the plethora of opportunities. You might get yourself a job you think you deserve, you could get fit and healthy, you could learn a new dance form or you could start making new friends. There are many reasons why self-confidence is required in our personal and professional lives, but the most important role it plays is to make us happy. 

Everyone deserves to be happy. So you need to get ready to eliminate that self-doubt and start practising things that make you feel confident in yourself.